asaingeek

i hate losing friendships. 

“The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on this country is getting to be outrageous. The vitriolic rhetoric that we hear day in and day out from people in the radio business and some people in the TV business … This has not become the nice United States that most of us grew up in. It’s not unusual for all public officials to get threats constantly, myself included. That’s the sad thing about what’s going on in America: Pretty soon we’re not going to be able to find reasonable decent people willing to subject themselves to serve in public office.”

This time back at home has been heaven sent. I actually have not gone out with my friends at all, which is quite amazing considering I haven’t seen them in over half a year. I have spent the majority of my time hanging out with my sister (which partially consists of watching boy before flowers), reflecting upon life, and studying.

I feel that it is essential that I spend (positive) time with my sister because she is in such a crucial junction of her life. The middle school she attends is horrendous, many of the kids pop pills and they all are experimenting with relationships in one form or another. She’s such a strong kid though. Despite all the distractions, her report card contains straight A’s. I’m not sure how we’ve been so blessed to be able to have such good grades in the environment that we have gone to school in. It’s truly a blessing. I do my best to confer wisdom and talk to her maturely about issues (sex, drugs, condoms, whatever it is that I feel she needs to be educated about). So grown up now. ahh. Whatever happened to the baby whose diapers I changed? It just seems way too fast. I’m proud of the way shes turned out and I hope it continues. 

As for my own life, there is much to be contemplative about. This, too, is also a crucial junction for me. The time for having a break from school is over. I must try my hardest to focus on my future the next few months. It is hard when you are also trying to pay bills and do a good job at work (I was just added to the new sex/health ed class). I must learn to balance work with my grad school preparation. It may be hard but I have overcome much larger obstacles in my life. I was debating about taking some pot bach-classes at Merritt College. After much thought (and financial considerations) I decided that finding a public health internship would be more beneficial. The negative thing to that is that I have work 12-6:30 everyday. I would have to find an internship in Oakland that is between 8-12. Since I’m now making enough money, the internship could be unpaid, which was the major deterrence in previous internal debates. 

The rest of my time has been spent studying for the GRE’s. Since my undergrad GPA is not the greatest, I know this test is crucial for my future. I realize that this and the my ability to find an internship will have so much ramification in my life. Before there was no urgent need to jump-start my career so quickly since I had a solid job and I thoroughly enjoyed working with my kids. But my family is going through some hard times, I know my dad’s business is struggling, its shutdown probably imminent. My parents are getting old and theres only so many years of work left in them. My sister will be in college in 4 years. I must, must, must shoulder more responsibility. Despite all this, my family is so supportive and loving. Especially my mother in particular. She will be in my thoughts as I trek through this next few months.

Semi random side-note: Friends should never undermine friends.It hurts when people who are close to you don’t believe in you. True friends support you when you are down and hopeless. Friendship should not be measured by sticks of accomplishments and ooh and ahhs of their resume but rather the amount of love and care that is always there no matter what.

I pray that God will give me the strength, commitment and intelligence to succeed through the next few months. I thank all my friends and family who have supported me throughout the years. May this next year be a good one for us all. 

so at my work we’re having a secret snowflake with all the teachers.. (btw its really weird being on the teachers side and involved in their social life. I’m still getting accustomed to it, I will forever and foremost consider myself a student apparently) 

I’m gonna get mines Starbucks Holiday tea on the first day.

Bake him some sweet pears the 2nd.

Then the last gift will be his favorite, chart papers and markers!!!! 

Has been quite lovely and blesssed. Got a lot of rest. Evaluated my life. Much love to my cousins who I spent it with. Thanks for the food and hospitality. I’ve been so much happier this week then the previous couple of months. Seems like I’ve gotten out of my rut. Enjoying my company with my buddies Thomas and Matthew, even though much of it is just us sitting around doing work, listening to music, and watching dance videos. 

Short term: focusing right now on lesson planning for my next week of classes (Journalism + Math Intervention) and Sriracha performance Friday and Movement Showcase. 

Long term: finding a public health intern program, re-taking GRE’s and also the CBEST. Pray that God will lead me on the path that I am meant to go on. 

Good clean weekend with friends!

Went to a formal. Saw some fierce [M]ovement dance team members there. Spoke to some high school kids. Dance Practice. Had some an awesome seafood dinner in SF. Mainstacks prelude afterparty! Vietnamese Sandwiches in SF with Roma/Dan. Sriracha performance at an outreach event (Reach’s Shadownite). Played basketball, went grocery shopping, hung out with thomas who slept over. 

- now I need to make this week off from work productive! 

to do list- loan/ticket paperwork, Sriracha transition choreo/mix, GRE/CBEST studying, and lesson planning journalism/math class, car engine check/cleaning. 

I was kinda sad I was going to be alone again for Thanksgiving but I totally forgot my cousins are in SF now! haha YAY!